Phone scams › Romance scam

Romance Scams: How Online Relationship Fraud Works and the Warning Signs

Romance scams build a fake relationship over weeks or months on dating apps or social media, then extract money through emergencies, travel costs, or 'investment opportunities'. The constant: the person can never meet or video chat, and money requests escalate. Reverse-searching photos, phone numbers, and usernames early exposes most of them.

Also known as: catfishing, military romance scam, pig butchering (relationship phase).

By the LookUpSomeone editorial team · Last reviewed 2026-08-06

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How does the Romance scam work?

A stolen-photo profile initiates contact and moves the chat off-platform quickly (WhatsApp, Telegram, text).
Weeks of daily attention ('love bombing') build trust; the person is conveniently overseas: military, oil rig, contractor, ship doctor.
The first ask is small (gift cards, phone cards), then escalates: medical emergency, customs fees, plane tickets, business trouble.
Modern hybrids pivot to crypto 'investments' (pig butchering) with fake platforms showing fake gains.

What does the Romance scam sound like?

A typical opening, paraphrased from the scripts reported to fraud agencies. Wording varies, but if your call or text follows this shape, treat it as this scam:

Unknown caller Typical example

I know we only matched a few days ago, but I feel like I have known you my whole life. My contract on the rig makes calls difficult, and the camera on this satellite connection never works. I hope you do not mind that I think about you constantly. I have never trusted anyone like this before.

Common variations of this scam

Military or overseas worker. A deployed soldier, rig engineer, or ship's doctor can't meet or video call, and eventually needs money for leave papers, flights, or customs.
Pig-butchering pivot. The relationship becomes a mentorship in crypto 'investing' on a fake platform where fabricated profits justify ever-larger deposits.
Package and inheritance. A box of valuables or an inheritance is 'stuck in customs' and only your payment of fees can release it, with official-looking shipping documents.
Sextortion turn. After intimate photos or video chats, the persona flips to blackmail, threatening to send the material to your contacts unless paid.

What are the warning signs?

Can never video call or meet; camera is always broken
Professes love unusually fast, moves you off the dating platform quickly
Overseas job that explains everything: deployment, rig, ship
Any money request in any form, especially gift cards, wires, or crypto
Photos that look professional; refusal to send a specific spontaneous photo you request

Who do these scammers target?

Scammers deliberately seek recently widowed and divorced people over 45, whose dating-profile details often say so, and anyone expressing loneliness. Faith communities are targeted for their trust and generosity. The pig-butchering hybrid skews younger, reaching professionals through wrong-number texts and social apps rather than dating sites.

Scammers also spoof local numbers to raise answer rates, so a familiar-looking area code means nothing on its own. If a specific code keeps calling you, check its scam activity in the area code directory.

What should you do?

Reverse-image-search their photos and run their phone number and username through lookup tools; stolen photos and recycled numbers are the fastest tell.
Never send money, crypto, or gift cards to someone you haven't met in person, no exceptions.
Never receive and forward money or packages for them; that makes you a money mule, which is a crime.
US: report to the FTC and FBI IC3 (ic3.gov). Canada: Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre.
Tell someone you trust; secrecy is the scammer's main protection, and shame is what keeps victims paying.

Official reporting: FTC: report fraud (US) · FBI IC3 (US) · Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre (CA)

How do you protect yourself going forward?

Video chat early and treat every excuse for avoiding it as the red flag it is.
Reverse-image-search profile photos and reverse-lookup any phone number they use before investing emotionally.
Make one rule absolute: no money, crypto, gift cards, or package-forwarding for anyone you haven't met in person.
Talk about new online relationships with a friend or family member; scammers isolate victims because outside eyes spot the script instantly.

Frequently asked questions

They never asked for money. Can it still be a scam?

Yes. Long grooming phases with no ask are common, especially in crypto-investment hybrids where the eventual 'opportunity' feels like your idea. The no-meeting, no-video pattern is the signal.

How do I check if photos are stolen?

Reverse-image search (Google Images, TinEye) often shows the photos belong to a model, influencer, or unrelated person. A username or phone lookup can also connect the identity to other reported scams.

Can I get money back after a romance scam?

Sometimes, if reported fast: banks can occasionally recall wires, and gift-card issuers can freeze unredeemed cards. Crypto is rarely recoverable. Report to your bank and police immediately regardless; reports also protect the next target.

What is 'pig butchering'?

A hybrid romance-plus-investment scam: the relationship builds trust, then the scammer introduces a fake crypto trading platform showing fabricated profits until the victim deposits large sums and is 'fattened' before the site vanishes.

Getting calls from a specific area code? Check its scam activity in the area code directory, or go straight to a reverse phone lookup.